My Own Worst Enemy AlfredxReaderxGermany
by Rubi Lynn
Summary: This is a reader insert. Based on the song My Own Worst Enemy by the band Lit. I will be grateful for any reviews. Enjoy


**My Own Worst Enemy**

"_Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk? I didn't mean to call you that. I can't remember what was said or what your threw at me."_

The events of the previous night were a complete blur. By this time he should have known not to throw parties. He nearly always got himself into some sort of trouble. His hands blindly searched the king sized bed for the body of his girlfriend. Gone. Damn, what exactly _**had **_he done?

He sat up in bed, the effects of his hangover hitting him like a frying pan to the head. His glasses were on the bedside table, which proved that he had been rather coherent before he fell asleep. They rested comfortably on his face and a sigh of relief came at the clarity they gave. His blue eyes looked about the room, which didn't have much damage to it. Now, he was lying to himself because there were quite a few things broken from being tossed across the room. Suddenly, his eyes picked up on a note attached to the mirror that rested atop his dresser.

He slowly stood from his bed and walked over to the mirror. A blonde haired, blue eyed bespectacled man was looking back at him. This of course was himself. He pulled the note from the mirror and looked at the words scrolled in sapphire blue ink. He was a bit frightened to absorb the letter's content.

_Dear Alfred F. Jones,_

_This is the last straw, I can't do this anymore. I love you, but I am sick and tired of your immature actions. You've been given countless chances and yet you always throw those chances back into my face. For the longest time , everyone has told me that I should just give up on you. But, every time you screwed up..I gave you another chance. No more chances, Alfred._

_Goodbye forever,_

_(F/N) (L/N)_

Alfred stared at the letter in disbelief, she could be serious about leaving. (F/N) had said things like this but had never followed through with them. She had always told him that she could never stay mad at him for long. Maybe he had taken all of her forgiveness for granted. He dropped the note with a heavy heart and headed downstairs. Perhaps if he called her, things would be alright.

He let out a sigh of anguish after the thirteenth time he had called her and received no answer. Alfred continued for the flight of deep oak stairs, he head pounding with each step. Why wasn't the downstairs a mess? His parties usually got out of hand and left large damages. Maybe this was why (F/N) was so angry. She has cleaned up the entire place while Alfred was passed out drunk.

He found his key on the third hook of the sky blue key holder. Alfred exited the house and hopped into the front seat of his white pick-up truck. If she wasn't going to answer him, then he would have to go to her and talk. Since the two of them lived together, Alfred knew exactly where she would be. He flicked off the radio when it began to play. "God forsaken piece of shit.."

Alfred looked at the brick house with black shuttered that he loathed with his entire soul. He tapped his fingers on the black leather steering wheel. He took a deep breath that smelled of pine needles and saw dust. Finally, he climbed out of the truck and headed to the house's deep red front door. Alfred pounded his fist violently against the door. He wanted desperately to see her.

Ludwig blurted out a variety of swears when the violent pounding of his door sent a surge of fear through his system. He set down the coffee that he had been trying to enjoy and opened the screen door. A blue orb looked through the peephole to take a glimpse at this morning intruder. It wasn't like he hadn't been expecting this idiot, but it was that he couldn't stand him. Ludwig closed the peephole and debated on whether he should open the door or not. He took a quick glance at the figure lying on his black leather couch and opened the front door.

"Oh hallo, Alfred." He looked him in the eyes, trying his hardest not to punch him directly in the face. "Yeah whatever, I want to see (F/N)." Ludwig tried not to laugh at the demand that the American had just given him. "Nein, I can't let you see her." Mentally, he was smirking over the fact that (F/N) had finally come to her senses and did not want to see Alfred.

A scoff escaped Alfred's mouth when he was told he couldn't see her. Who was this guy to tell him that he could not see his own girlfriend? "She specifically told me not to let you in." He raised a disbelieving eyebrow at the German standing before him. "Just let me see her, I don't care if she told you not to." The burning tension between them was enough to create a cataclysmic explosion.

"Nein, unlike you I actually stick to promises (F/N) asks of me." Alfred had been attempting to keep himself under control, but this set him off. "Listen you fucking Nazi! You let me into this damned house before I let myself in!" His usually calm blue oceans had become a fiery abyss of hatred. Normally his anger wouldn't get the best of him, but Ludwig always seemed to change that.

Ludwig wished he could say that he kept his anger under control majority of the time, but he knew it would be a lie. He would rather let his blood boil and continue to stir it then let it over flow in a river of anger. Today just wasn't his day for controlling his anger. How dare this imbecile show up at his doorstep and demand things of him? Who in the hell did he think he was to call him a Nazi? Ludwig's mind wasn't thinking rationally when he hauled out and punched Alfred in the eye.

Alfred lost his footing in result of the punch and fell down the three stairs that led to the door. He took a few seconds to regain his oxygen flow due to the wind being knocked out of him. His glasses were now broken so he tossed them off of his face and onto Ludwig's sidewalk. Alfred stood up from his lying down position and walked to his truck. It was now that he was glad (F/N) had convinced him to keep an extra pair of glasses in his glove compartment. "I will be back later, you damned Nazi."

With those words, Alfred departed, driving with a swollen purple-blue right eye. Ludwig gave a grunt of acknowledgement and walked back into his house, closing both doors as he passed them. The figure that had been whisked away to the realm of dreams was now sitting upright on the same couch. Underneath her (E/C) eyes there was clean (S/C) skin where there had once been smeared eyeliner and running mascara. He was wondering how she had managed to clean herself up during the short amount of time as the confrontation with Alfred was. Ludwig wasn't quiet sure how to read the expression that her face held.

"Thanks for not letting him in, Luddy. I knew I could trust you." He couldn't help but smile at the nickname she had given him when they were quite young. "Later, if you want to, do you want to go back to his house so I can get my things?" Her (H/C) locks danced in the breeze she created when she began to walk to the kitchen. Ludwig nodded but slowly realized that she couldn't even see him. "Ja, zat vould be no problem."

In the kitchen, (F/N) was looking through the cupboards for some breakfast. She was wearing a baggy (favorite superhero) t-shirt of Alfred's and a pair of silky silver pajama pants with black stripes. Ludwig was leaning in the doorway, he still looked rather tired because he never went back to sleep. "Do you need some help?" He watched her stand on her tiptoes to reach something atop the fridge. (F/N) was to put it lightly persistent, she waved a hand in dismissal and continued to hop.

Ludwig had now moved from his spot in the doorway and to the fridge, which was black as most of the appliances in the kitchen. "Here." He held the bag that contained a loaf of bread in his hand. "Thanks Luddy." (F/N) laughed as she took the twisty of the bag and grabbed a piece out. She grabbed a jar of (favorite type of jam) and spread it onto the slice with a butter knife.

As he watched how happy she was as she ate something so simple, Ludwig pondered on why anyone would ever want to hurt her. (F/N) was a person just like everyone else, but to him she was such a well perfect person. Alfred was an idiot for hurting her, which was something he did all of the time. He recalled how she had come pounding on his door only a few hours ago. Ludwig remembered the stabbing and throbbing pain in his heart that came with seeing tears streaming down her face. He had wanted nothing more than to make her feel better.

"Yo, Ludwig are you on this Earth or off in La-La Land?" A hand waved in front of his blue eyes which seemed to be staring into beautiful oblivion. "I'm on Earth, I promise." He took the bag from the counter and put it back on top of the refrigerator. "Sometimes, I think that you are too nice." (F/N) muttered as she walked back into the living room and flopped onto the couch.

"Vell I am pretty sure that Alfred doesn't think that I'm too nice." He took a seat next to her and replayed how wonderful it felt to punch that American in the face. All of the jealousy, rage and hatred Ludwig had for his best friend's boyfriend had been directed into that single punch. "Wait, what did you do to my Alfie? " She shot up straight on the couch, as if she had sat on a pin of anger. Mentally, she knew that she shouldn't flip so easily but (F/N) often had troubles with hiding her feelings.

"Mein Gott, are you kidding me right now? You come to my door in ze middle of ze night crying your eyes out und zen you become all vorried about me hurting Alfred?' Ludwig was now standing up, not believing how quickly she had flipped on him. Didn't she understand that all Alfred had ever done was hurt her when he had always been there to comfort her? He was always there when her boyfriend cheated on her, yelled at her or left her alone in a restaurant when they had planned a date. He had been her shoulder to cry on for as long he could remember.

"Jeez Luddy, I wasn't thinking alright? I'm so used to how Alfred is that I am always ready to defend him even when he has hurt me." (F/N's) eyes had drifted down to the oak wood floor in self loathing. She hadn't mean to defend her boyfr- well ex-boyfriend. "Vatever, I guess ve should go get your zhings from his house, ja?" He saw her nod in agreement and grabbed his keys from the entertainment center where he had set his keys upon getting home from work.

(F/N) pulled on the fuzzy (favorite color) slippers that she had bought herself last year for her birthday and followed Ludwig to his car. He drove a (guess what color!) black Mustang, that (F/N) had told him to buy because he looked good driving it. He double checked that himself and (F/N) had put their seat belts on, ever since Ludwig had got his license he had been extra precocious when driving. This was because his older brother Gilbert had nearly been killed because his friend was being reckless while driving and was also under the influence. The car ride to the house (F/N) and Alfred once shared was a silent, tension filled one. Ludwig didn't want to speak for fear of saying something that he would regret.

Eventually the final turn to her old home was made and the familiar driveway was calling to her. If Ludwig hadn't insisted on going in with her, she supposed she would have stayed as soon as she walked inside. She was surprised to find that Alfred wasn't home, but then again he was probably buying some more alcohol for yet another party that night. (F/N) grabbed the key that she had hidden underneath the widow sill, so she could get in on the days that Alfred locked her out. When she pushed open the door, the faint scent of Axe and hamburgers hit her. Those smells made her want to bury herself within Alfred's chest and feel safe.

"I have to go upstairs first, Ludwig you can just wait down here. I won't take long." Ludwig grabbed her hand to stop her. "Nein, I zhink I should go vith you." (F/N) sighed and let go of his hand, her eyes saying that she would be fine. She left him with a soft, yet reassuring smile before she turned and walked the rest of the way upstairs. (F/N) was throwing her clothes into suitcases when she heard pained groans coming from the bathroom three rooms down.

(F/N) dropped the wad of clothes that she had been transporting to her suitcase, which was on the bed. She tiptoed through the room, past the white doorway and into the hallway. Her heart was thumping wildly each time her foot hit a new patch of floor. She ran her hands across the deep blue wall as she walked, it seemed as if she was using it for some type of support. (F/N) stepped past the computer room and the laundry room, she now stood outside the wooden door that led to the bathroom. Her hand grazed the cool brass doorknob in a quick moment to open the barrier between herself and the groans.

There Alfred was, standing in front of the mirror his right eye swollen shut. He had been attempting to get the bits of glass out of his eye. (F/N's) heart dropped down to the pit of her stomach when she saw her hero in pain and tears streaming down his face. "Hey Ocean Eyes." She looked up at Alfred, her heart was racing, not in fear but in love. He looked (F/N) in the face and simply pulled her into his arms.

"I didn't know tha-" (F/N) started to speak, but Alfred caught her off guard with a simple kiss. "Dude, I'm so sorry for whatever I did last night. I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me." He wanted to make it okay, getting a taste of losing her was simply too much for Alfred. He held her almost possessively in his arms as he whispered apologies into her ear.

Ludwig shook his head; shock, anger, heartbreak and pure hatred coursed through his veins. (F/N) had to be an idiot for forgiving him yet again, he had thought the two were going to be over. He turned to leave forever, to never see her face again when something stopped his mechanic footsteps. It was the sound of a slap, a hard blood drawing slap. Had Alfred smacked (F/N)? He hoped not, because Ludwig knew he would be thrown in jail for cold blooded murder.

(F/N) stared at the fresh crimson smeared onto her (S/C) hand in utter shock. She had just slapped the only person that she had ever been in love with. "It's not okay, nothing you can say will make any of this okay.." She pulled away from him, courage was flowing through her body; it was an excellent substitute for the love that coursed through her body. (F/N) walked back into the bedroom that Alfred would now sleep alone in and continued packing her things. She took the shirt of Alfred's she was wearing and tossed it to the floor, leaving herself in a black tank top and pajama pants.

"No, (F/N) I am truly sorry this time. I-I don't want to, no can't lose you." He went to follow after her, but Ludwig stood in his way. A sigh of defeat fell from his mouth and filled the air with a cold grey self hatred. Instead of fighting to get past, he simply walked back into the bathroom and continued to pull bits of glass from his eye. His insides were twisting with agony, he shouldn't have been so careless about their relationship.

Ludwig supervised as (F/N) gathered her things, making sure she had everything she needed. As she moved about the house, he realized the only possessions that she really had were clothes and some toiletries. His heart was swelling with pride at how well (F/N) was doing with leaving Alfred. He carried two of her crème colored suitcases down the stairs, leaving her with two for herself to carry. Once all of her bags and been stowed in the backseat of Ludwig's Mustang, they took their seats in the car and left. In the beginning the trip was rather silent.

"I am very proud of you for not giving in, (F/N)." Instead of giving a reply, she turned on the radio and tuned it until she found a song she liked. As the tune of the song began, Ludwig stifled a laugh when he recognized the song. "Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk? I didn't mean to call you that. I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me. Please tell me, please tell me why.."

(F/N) couldn't help but sing the lyrics, they rang so true to Alfred's personality that it was rather hilarious. The song was loud enough to vibrate the inside of the car and create that annoying boom that cars with loud music make. "My car is in the front yard and I'm sleeping with my clothes on came in through the window last night and your gone. Gone!" The two were now singing together, a bit off key but they were having fun nonetheless. "It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy 'cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me!"

"The smoke alarm is going off, and there's a cigarette still burning. Please tell me why my car is in the front yard and I'm sleeping with my clothes on, came in through the window last night and your gone. Gone!" (F/N) smiled brightly as the wind blowing through the rolled down windows whipped her hair around and carried the music outside. For once she was letting all of the stress fall off her shoulders and just be the twenty three year old woman that she was.

"Please tell me why my car is in the front yard, and I'm sleeping with my clothes on I came in through the window last night and your gone. Gone!" (F/N's) hand found its way to the volume control, as did Ludwig's. Both of their cheeks became dusted with pink embarrassment at the small contact. They traded smiles and turned the volume up together. "Please tell me why my car is in the front yard and I'm sleeping with my clothes on, I came in through the window last night."

Ludwig was more than happy to be sharing a moment that was so carefree with (F/N), this is exactly the way she was before Alfred. She was always looking to have fun and be herself, something he had always loved about her. "It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy 'cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me!" They belted out together, letting out laughter as they did so. "Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk? I didn't mean to call you that.."

It was the first night that (F/N) had slept more than two hours before she needed to wake for work. Two weeks had passed since she had moved in with Ludwig and she was readjusting to life with the sweet, yet stern German. She awoke to the sound of her alarm blaring and flicked the alarm setting to off with her index finger. When she moved that's when she noticed something was holding onto her waist and preventing her from moving to her full extent without leaving the warm heaven that was the bed. (F/N) was a bit alarmed at the fact someone was in bed with her, she could hardly imagine bringing anyone home last night (for she had dragged Ludwig to a club with her for the hell of it.) That was when her eyes found the blonde hair and her heart skipped a beat.

Had she done something that she would regret with her best friend? She shook her head and laughed to herself, even she wasn't that careless when she was drunk…or was she? (F/N) shook Ludwig slightly as he snored away and she couldn't help but wonder what exactly he was dreaming about. A soft smile broke out on her face as soon as his eyes met hers. "Good morning, Luddy." In the back of her mind she was praying to any god that would listen that they hadn't done anything stupid.

"Guten Morgen." Ludwig's arms quickly pulled from her waist, his face turned a slight shade of pink embarrassment. He could feel the curiosity in (F/N's) eyes borrowing into his own eyes. Of course she didn't remember, because she had been drunk when they came home the previous night. "If you are vondering, I am sleeping in your bed because you asked me to last night." He let out a tired laugh at the shocked look (F/N) was giving him.

Her mind was not processing the information that Ludwig had just told her. She had asked him to sleep with her last night and he obliged? "Ludwig Beilschmidt! How could you take advantage of me when I was drunk?" (F/N) smacked him in the side of the head with a pillow which had been resting peacefully in its lilac pillow case until it had been yanked from its sleep. She hit him with yet another sleeping cloud and another after that.

"Mein Gott, I vould never do zhat!" Ludwig smoothed his hair out with one of his hands and scoffed at her. He would never take advantage of (F/N), because she was worth so much more than a one night stand. "Oh, well usually when you wake up in bed with someone after a night of drinking you can't help but to think…" She trailed off and set the pillow back down. "Yeah I know exactly how zhat is."

He climbed out of the warm burrow that was (F/N's) bed and headed out of the room. Ludwig had wanted to tell her that they had kissed the previous night even before she had gotten drunk. It had been an electric feeling, for him at least. The only reason he was afraid to say anything was because she might say it was a mistake and Ludwig didn't want to hear that. He walked down the hall, through the living room and into the kitchen. He had not realized that (F/N) was right behind him until he heard the sound of her bare feet on the tiles of the kitchen floor.

(F/N) rubbed her hands against her now goose bumped skin in attempt to warm herself. The one thing she disliked about Ludwig's home was that the kitchen was always so cold. She shivered slightly and grabbed a box of (insert favorite cereal here). "Zhere's no milk, ve vill have to go shopping later." Ludwig didn't look over at her as he filled up the sink with hot water and soap to do the dishes. (F/N) simply shrugged and shoved her hand into the box, something she had started doing because of Alfred.

Ludwig scrubbed a little to roughly on the glass he held in his hand. He had so many feelings for (F/N) that he had let build up for nearly ten years. Every time he had a chance to tell her, Ludwig would give himself some stupid reason why he couldn't tell her. He had not realized how hard he had been scrubbing the glass until it busted in his hand. "Verdammt!" He dropped the glass into the sink, which had now turned a distorted crimson color due to the blood.

"Oh jeez." (F/N) turned pale and felt weak at the knees at seeing Ludwig with all that blood spilling from his hand. She rushed over to him and took his larger hand into her more feminine one. She looked over the deep cut in his palm and grabbed the rag hanging from the handle of the stove. "Here, put pressure on this to stop the bleeding." (F/N) muttered as she wrapped it swiftly around his hand.

"Vait, vhere are you going?" Ludwig asked as he watched the (H/C) haired beauty walk into the living room. He winced as the pain coursed through his nervous system. She appeared back into the room with a set of keys in her hand. "I am taking you to the hospital, you are going to need stitches." Ludwig didn't question her because she was a nurse after all.

The waiting room had deep blue walls with white trim and the floors were carpeted with royal purple. Chairs lined the walls the room, in those chairs there were four other people seated. A few heads turned at the moment they entered. (F/N) pointed to a chair and told Ludwig to take a seat. He had insisted on going up with, but she thought it to be unnecessary She smiled politely at the woman behind Plexiglas.

"Hey (F/N), what's up?" The brunette asked as she scanned her fellow employee for an injury. "Well, my friend Ludwig cut himself on a glass cup. It looks pretty deep and will probably need stitches." She looked up at the left corner of the room for a second or two. "Okay you know the drill."

Ludwig stared at the forms attached to a clipboard that (F/N) was writing on. He used his uninjured hand to reach into his pocket for his wallet, which contained his insurance card. When he located it, Ludwig gave to it her. "Shouldn't I be filling zhose out?" He asked, knowing that he was right. This exactly why he hated getting injured or sick, because people began to treat him as if he were incapable of the most mundane tasks.

"Normally, yes but since you are hurt on your writing hand then I can do it." Ludwig watched her write with a rather fast paced scroll. "Ja, but some of zhis stuff you von't know." He shook his head as he continued to read ahead on the form. "Then you can tell me the answers to the ones I don't know." (F/N) continued to persist on doing it for him.

He would have been okay with that if there weren't so many personal question. "Nein, you can let me do zhe ones zhat you don't know vith zhis hand." Ludwig held up his left hand, which had been holding the dish rag to his wound. (F/N) looked him over for a seconds in consideration. "Alright, just make sure that your writing in legible." At this, the worry on his usually strong face disappeared.

After what seemed like hours of answering questions (that personally Ludwig thought were pointless) they turned the forms in along with his insurance card. "You look really pale, Ludwig. You must have lost quite an amount of blood." To be honest, he did feel rather dizzy. He was surprised when (F/N) wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug. A much welcomed warmth coursed through his system.

(F/N) was glad that Ludwig hadn't heard what she had said to the other woman behind the Plexiglas earlier. "Don't let Alfred know that we're here." Was what she had told her, because Alfred always kept tabs on her when she was at the hospital. He has several of the employees telling him many things about her in the work place. He had done the same thing when they used to date, but it was even more annoying now.

Time was passed by remaining on their in high school, which was a topic they usually avoided. (F/N) tended not to talk about high school because she wasn't particularly fond of her first years there. The same went for Ludwig, he hardly ever brought up their freshman year. At the present they were talking about the first time they had officially met. Ludwig remembered that day in tenth grade when his rather annoying brother, Gilbert had dragged (F/N) tot their table. (F/N) hadn't been too thrilled at that because she was more of a loner.

It had been in art class on the third day of school, the sun was shining in through the high windows. (F/N) sat on a stool that was painted black and red in the corner of the room. Her sketchbook was lying on her lap and her hand was flying across the page in swift movements. She hardly noticed else in the classroom, because frankly she only cared about drawing. Currently, she was working on a portrait of her eyes. (F/N) knew that her teacher would shout at her for 'not doing' what was asked of her.

Ludwig was constantly looking up from working on the drawing of himself, which seemed childish to him. "Vhat are you staring at?" Gilbert set the red colored pencil in his hand back onto his table. "Nozhing.." His blue eyes immediately fell back to his sketchbook. The young Prussian's eyes followed the direction that his brother had been staring in.

A wide smile broke out on his face and he headed that way. "Vait, vhere zhe hell is he going." Ludwig dropped the pencil in his hand with a clank. "I have no clue." Kiku muttered as he signed his name at the bottom right hand corner of his portrait Ludwig could do nothing but stare in horror at what his brother.

"I don't really understand why I should go over there." (F/N) looked at the kid in front of her, whose name had escaped her. "It vill only take a second or so, frau." She scoffed at him and set her sketchbook on the desk a few feet away from her. (F/N) had no time to do anything else, because the boy was pulling her away.

"Vhat in zhe hell has Gilbert done? Vhy is she coming over her vith him." By this time, the fifteen year old German was having a minor panic attack. "(F/N), this is Kiku and Ludwig. Kiku, Ludwig this is (F/N)." He seemed to be beaming in a burst of self pride.

Ludwig could have strangled Gilbert if he wouldn't have been paralyzed in anger. "Hi Ludwig, hi Kiku." He watched her wave and shift her feet in an awkward habit. (F/N) didn't seem embarrassed and he looked up to her for that. If it had been him in her shoes, his face would have been bright red. He was curious as to why her eyes avoided looking at anyone.

"Frau, you are going to sit with us from now on. Ve have been needing a fourth person." Gilbert set her sketchbook on the table, which he had taken when he had gotten her from her seat. "I-I, well okay then." Ludwig felt his face heat up when she sat next to him. At the same time, he still felt like punching his brother in the eye.

The bell echoed through the room about twenty minutes later. (F/N) was glad to get out of art, because the three people that she had been stuck with were asking her too many questions. She was the last person out of the room and was trailing behind the trio to her next class. "How could you do zhat? Do you really zhink she vould vant to be stuck vith us for zhe rest of zhe year?" Ludwig fired out these two questions in anger.

Gilbert shrugged his shoulders and laughed a bit. "You vere zhe one staring at her instead of drawing your portrait. I zhought I vould help you out by having her sit vith us." A smirk danced across his face and his eyes were shining with pride. "I vasn't staring, idiot. I just happened to look in her direction."

(F/N) raised an eyebrow in interest and stepped closer to the three boys. "Deny it all you vant, I know you vere staring." Gilbert smirked and turned into the study hall room. "Mein Gott he is such an idiot. I am sorry to call him mein bruder." He shook his head and walked into his math class.

Ludwig had forgotten all about the pain in his hand until (F/N) told him all of what she had heard. His eyes looked down to his hand and he painted a pained expression on his face, as he remembered the pain. "So you heard of zhat?" He couldn't believe that she had known about his feelings for that many years and had not said anything about it. "Yeah I did, it isn't anything to be embarrassed about." He managed a smile when he saw that she was smiling at him.

(F/N) took in the all too familiar scent of the hospital waiting room, which always carried the faint scent of bleach. "I think we probably could have dated at some point if Alfred hadn't come along." She was being completely honest on her part. Alfred had come into her life their Senior year. If it weren't for Kiku and Feliciano who had come along in Junior year, Ludwig would have been all alone. Gilbert had found new friends so he hardly talked to Ludwig and Kiku, he only talked to (F/N) when he was hitting on her.

When they were in college, Alfred and (F/N) broke up for a few months and that was when she and Ludwig became close again. "Don't say zhat to me, it just isn't something I vant to hear." He stood up and followed the nurse that had called him to the back. (F/N) trailed after him, regretting what she had said to him. Maybe honesty wasn't always the best policy. It seemed as if she had been saying stupid things lately.

"The doctor will be right with you." The red headed nurse smiled softly as she directed the two to room number seven. Ludwig took a seat on the white bed which was currently in an upright position. "I don't zhink zhat you remember, but you kissed me last night." He took the blood soaked towel from his hand and tossed it into the trashcan. "It was before you even started drinking."

(F/N) had been hoping, no praying that Ludwig wouldn't mention their kiss or would just dismiss it. She had wanted to kiss him for a while now, but it had always seemed like the wrong thing to do. Last night she had had the 'it's now or never' mentality that she used to hone. "I know I did. I remember it." Was all she could think to say.

Was she supposed to tell him that she had felt amazing when she had kissed him? Was she supposed to say that she had wanted nothing more for him to hold her? (F/N) wasn't sure that she should say those things so she had just the last thing that felt right to say. "But, honestly Ludwig it felt ama-" Her (E/C) eyes flicked to the door when it opened up. The doctor was quicker than she had expected, she knew that the doctors always screwed around between patients.

"No need to fear the hero is he-" Alfred stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on the bed. His blood immediately ran hot when he laid eyes on the blonde haired German. He closed the white door behind him and continued into the room. When his eyes fell on the beauty that had once been his, his heart shattered right then and there. He took a look at the clipboard in his hand to give him something to do.

So maybe her heart did skip a beat when Alfred entered the room, but it was because she didn't want to see him. She avoided his eyes, which constantly tried to meet hers each time he looked from the clipboard. "So, Doctor are you going to check his hand out?" (F/N) looked up at Alfred when she said this. Alfred set the clipboard on a shelf off to the side and walked over to Ludwig. When he took Ludwig's hand in his, she half expected him to punch Ludwig with his own hand.

"Would you like to take any Novocaine before I give you stitches?" Alfred muttered rather monotonously as he walked to a drawer of in the small room. "Ja." They were both trying to say the least amount of words to the other. (F/N) simply slumped a bit further in her chair, wanting nothing more than to leave the hospital. Alfred pulled a seat up in front of Ludwig and began to work on stitching him up.

After he had injected Ludwig's hand with Novocaine, Alfred began the stitching. He had wished that Ludwig hadn't asked for Novocaine, for he wanted to cause the German as much pain as he had caused him. "Now, you are going to have to come back in six weeks so I can take the stitches out. If you go to the front desk, your appointment will be scheduled." He dismissed Ludwig with a wave of his hand. When (F/N) went to leave, Alfred took her hand to stop her.

"Just let me talk to you, please." (F/N) stared up at Alfred, cringing from the contact between them. She wasn't willing to give him the time of day at this point in her life. She just wanted to be happy. Was happiness too much to ask for? Ludwig was who she wanted, the only source of happiness that she yearned for.

(F/N) pulled away from Alfred, severing the contact with the doctor she had once so wholeheartedly loved. Alfred's heart broke with every step that lengthened the distance between the previous lovers. "Babe, tell me you don't feel anything and I'll leave you alone forever." This sounded like a good idea to her. There was no way she could still have feelings for him. How could she still love him after all of the pain he had caused her?

With a nod of consent, (F/N) braced herself for a kiss from Alfred. He cupped her face in his hands, the way he had done in their early days of dating (before he started drinking.) His lips settled themselves onto hers, in a gentle act of love, not the lust he had held when he was drunk. There was a stir within the pit of (F/N's) stomach and she couldn't believe it. "Well?" She didn't give a response and that's when Alfred knew.

From that day on, Alfred continued to pursue the girl who he had once been able to claim his own. He would send her letters, flowers, and birthday presents but his attempts to win her back never worked. The American never ceased with his pursuits even well into (F/N's) relationship with Ludwig. There were nights that he couldn't sleep because she ran through his mind, he would gather up pictures he had of her and just look at them and cry. He wished (constantly) that he hadn't become alcoholic, but since (F/N) left him for good he never picked up another drink. On his last day, the very last thing he touched before he put a bullet through his head was picture of (F/N) standing in front of the church she and Ludwig had gotten married in. She still looked lovely with blood spattered across the four year old picture.

(F/N) stared down at the floor and let a sigh escape her lips. There was spaghetti sauce and noodles all over the floor. Her daughter (your choice) had decided that she didn't want worms as she had called them for dinner. "Sorry Feli, you know how fussy she is when Ludwig is at work." She looked up at her husband's best friend when he didn't say anything.

The Italian was simply staring at the television sitting on the kitchen counter in shock. (F/N) stood and turned the volume up, interested when she read the headline: Praised Doctor Commits Suicide. "Today the body of Dr. Alfred F Jones was found by a coworker when he didn't show up for work. According to the Coroner's Report, the doctor had been dead for three days before his body was discovered. No suicide note was found at the scene." Her (E/C) orbs widened in a frightened and heartbroken spasm. Feliciano pulled her into his arms and let her cry, tears fell down his face along with hers.

Dressed in black, (F/N) stood front and center at Alfred's funeral, knowing she was the reason for his suicide. Shortly after the discovery of his body, she had received a letter from him explaining why he had taken his life. That night she had broken down into to a mess of tears, she locked the bathroom door and sat there letting her emotions take over. She was grateful to Feliciano for taking her daughter while she was in the current state. It felt as if Ludwig was keeping his distance, but (F/N) could feel Alfred in the air around her which made her feel safe.


End file.
